Admitting
by Mindy K
Summary: Monk & Sharona realize what they've felt for each other all along


Admitting  
  
Pre-story to: The Call, The Baby, and The Monk Generation Continues  
  
*The scene takes place when Sharona and Monk are driving back to Monk's place, from the airport, after their week with Sharona's Aunt Min. (After the Season 1 finale episode.)  
  
"So, what did you think of Aunt Min?" Sharona questioned very curiously. "She's very nice." Monk said plainly with no emotion. They hardly talked on the plane ride back. Changing the subject, Sharona said, "Well, I'm very proud of you. That was a very big step. You know the plane and all." " 'And all' what?" He said asking as if he didn't know. "You know." Sharona said in a way of speaking that meant 'I'd rather not say it, because we both know, but I know you want me to admit it.' "Come on Adrian. You know what I'm talking about. Don't tell me you weren't the least bit embarrassed when she said stuff like, 'So Sharona, are you and Adrian. you know. dating?' right when you and I were there." There was an awkward silence. "Well, maybe.. But you can't really say.well.that.there isn't something to be.suspicious.about-" He ended abruptly, not daring to finish. There was a great amount of tension in the air. They both knew though what this was all about. Yet they were too close to admit it. "How's Benjy?" Sharona acknowledged the normal 'changing the subject question,' but she answered him anyway. "Well, he says he wants to know everything about the trip." "So, what are going to tell him?" Adrian asked as though there might be something she shouldn't tell Benjy. "What do you mean 'what are you going to tell him'?" They were both getting sick of these games where one acted as though they didn't know what the other meant. "You know what I meant." He said a little coldly. She didn't say anything. He added, "About.About the.well.like you were saying before, about your aunt, and what she said. er. assumed. about.er. us." His voice died away. "I don't know Adrian. He's not stupid you know.. I suppose he assumes things too." Now her voice came out soft and a little scared. "The real question is. is. well .Do we know what's going on between us? Not what everyone else assumes, because we're the only ones who should know the answer." "I don't think I really know anymore Adrian. I've made so many wrong turns in my life that I just don't know anymore." He saw now a tear slowly slide down her cheek. It wasn't easy for either of them, but yet they knew how they felt about each other. He carefully brushed the tear away with a finger. He smiled kindly. She sniffled and tried to keep her mind on the road. The words thank you were mouthed, but not actually said. She half-smiled, looked at him and then thought about driving again. He wasn't trying, of course, to make her cry, but they both knew this was going to come up and this was just as good a time as any. "Well, how do you feel about us?" She paused for a moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing. Adrian didn't want her to answer if it was too hard to admit it. He felt as if he had caused her enough pain and memories for just these 30 minutes. He did something she never wold have expected her to do. He took her hand, her right hand, the one she wasn't driving with, and he just held it for the whole ride back. Throughout the whole ride back, he looked at Sharona thinking She's so beautiful, even when she's crying. I'm so lucky I found her. His eyes misted over, and a small smile appeared on his face, in happiness and sadness; he was thinking about the bad and good times they shared, and he thought, No matter what, I always will want to be with you. She looked at him once or twice, with a small smile and thought the same. Those big, brown eyes of his are so beautiful. It's like they can really see into you. He looked at Sharona deeply with those Super-man eyes of his and knew everything. He thought about her eyes, although clouded by tears now, he could still see them behind the tears. Her eyes were an icy blue. A color that's so beautiful, that it's almost chilling. When they got back to Monk's house they didn't talk. They quietly unpacked his things. The only sounds were the zipping and unzipping of suitcases, and Sharona sniffling. As she started to walk to the door, she said, "I'm going now Adrian." She said it as though she might never come back. "Wait." He said nervously as she started to leave. "Please don't go.Don't leave me again.I.I just can't bear you leaving me one more time." Now she stopped dead in her tracks. After all that, he finally caved in. He had admitted that he just could not live without her. Though it might just have ruined everything between them, he felt either way that she was going to leave him forever. He knew he would never meet another Sharona Fleming again. She heavily and painfully sighed and said, "I have to go now." "Wait!" He cried out as she reached for the door handle. "Does this mean you never want to see me again?" Another heavy sigh. "I don't know Adrian. I have to think some more." She sniffled. "I'll call you." She slammed the door. At this point they were both crying. He felt frozen to his spot. This was his worst nightmare. She leaned against the door and sobbed and slid down on the porch. It wasn't a kind of thing where she could just go back in and say sorry. He knew she was still there, for he could hear her sobbing on the other side of the door barely stopping for 15 minutes in a row. As he heard the crying die down, he carefully, cautiously, opened the door. He saw her walk to her car and thought if I don't say something. anything. I might never see her again. "I can't live without you!" He didn't yell it, but he didn't say it either. "I love you Sharona Fleming!" She turned around completely in shock. Her clouded eyes were opened so wide that it looked like she had just seen a ghost. She got in her car, and drove away so confused, with a thousand things floating in her mind, that she ran straight though a red light and got a ticket. Yet she could not get over all the things that happened that afternoon. He called her house a thousand times that week, apologizing for everything he had ever done to make her feel bad, sad, or mad. His incredible memory allowed him to literally remember every single thing. He felt more terrible than maybe he had ever felt in his entire life. All he could think about was her, and all she could think about was him. They both barely ate or slept. He tried everything, but nothing worked. Even talking to his psychiatrist didn't help, for he had no experience of what Adrian was feeling. A week after the "incident" Adrian woke up at 3:26am to a phone call. He actually kept on falling asleep and waking up again. "Hello? Sharona? Is that you?" He was very anxious. Who else could be calling him at this time? "Actually this is Benjy, speaking for my mom." "Oh.So, what did she decide on?" "Well, she said she'd like to talk things over with you at our house right now. Can you come?" This was a no-brainer. "Of course. I'll start walking there now. Oh! Another thing; Would you tell your mom that I love her more than anything in the world?" "Sure thing, Mr. Monk!" Benjy told her and Monk could hear her kindly laugh, and say, "Tell him I said: 'Ditto!' " Adrian sensed that Benjy was smiling too. He gave Monk the message, they said their good-byes, hung up, and Monk got dressed and headed out the door. He more so ran than walked. He was so excited. He would finally be able to tell Sharona that he loved her again. Which made him feel loved again in a strange way. They talked until 7:00 am on the sofa. They had a lot of feelings to get out in the open. Near the end of their conversation, she said heartfelt, "I do love you Adrian Monk." "I love you too Sharona Fleming." They held hands, and now both relieved from all the stress they realized they were dead tired. They fell asleep, hands still interlocked, smiling on the sofa in front of the TV. Benjy watched for a minute smiled and went back to his room. He had never felt so happy for his mom and Mr. Monk, ever.  
  
END  
  
"It's always times like these, when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me. Cause everything's so wrong, I don't belong in your precious memory, cause I need you, and I miss you, and now I wonder.if I could just see you, tonight."  
  
-A Thousand Miles (sung by Vanessa Carlton) 


End file.
